Finding Your Lane: Trauma-Informed Therapy for Adult Women with ADHD, RSD, and Emotional Overwhelm
For days when worry racks your very soul — invading every square inch of your thinking space — it can feel impossible to rest. Maybe you replay social moments over and over, cringing at one comment you made or dreading the possibility of “messing up” again next time.
This loop can be especially intense for adult women with ADHD, Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD), or complex developmental trauma, where emotional dysregulation and low self-esteem amplify self-criticism. The mental tape feels never-ending, pulling you away from work, relationships, and even sleep.
As a trauma-informed, neurodivergent-affirming therapist, I see how often these patterns are not personal failures — but nervous-system responses shaped by lived experience.
A Trauma-Informed Pause: Shifting from Self-Blame to Perspective
What if you paused for a moment and asked yourself:
“What is the group as a whole actually gathering to achieve?”
“And what is my specific role within that shared goal?”
For many people who struggle with people-pleasing, boundary setting can feel unsafe or unfamiliar — especially if childhood trauma taught you to stay hyper-attuned to others. This pause is not about doing less; it’s about doing what’s yours.
Somatic Awareness: Defining Your Lane and Calming the Nervous System
Imagine your role becoming clearer — its length, width, height, and boundaries.
What’s in your lane?
What’s out of bounds?
As these details take shape, notice how your body responds. Maybe your chest softens, your breath lengthens, or your forehead smooths. This is mind-body integration in action — the foundation of somatic trauma therapy and other body-based trauma approaches.
This moment of grounding is not accidental. It’s a skill — one you can take full credit for cultivating.
Using Imagery as an Emotional Anchor (IFS-Informed & Somatic)
Right before the event, imagine returning to this lane again — not as pressure, but as an emotional anchor. In Internal Family Systems (IFS) and parts work, this kind of imagery helps create internal safety and clarity.
Remind yourself:
Why you’re there
What you’re responsible for
What you are allowed to release
This anchor remains available to you at any moment — especially when RSD or overwhelm flares.
After the Event: Curiosity Instead of Criticism
Later — perhaps on your way home — take time to reflect with compassion.
Notice:
Moments you stayed within your lane
Moments you strayed
Celebrate where you followed through. And where you didn’t, invite curiosity instead of judgment — a core principle in trauma-informed therapy for adult women.
Ask yourself:
“What was that part of me trying to do for me?”
Often, straying is an attempt to meet a need:
Connection
Safety
Approval
Release of pent-up tension
These are not flaws. They are protective strategies shaped by experience.
Parts Work, Self-Esteem, and Building Healthier Boundaries
Once the motive becomes clear, imagine thanking it — even if the outcome wasn’t ideal. In IFS therapy, this acknowledgment alone can soften internal conflict and support self-esteem and boundary-setting work.
Then, gently brainstorm:
Other ways to meet that same need
Choices that feel more functional and aligned
Small, realistic steps you can integrate into daily life
This is how emotional resilience is built — not through force, but through collaboration with your inner system.
Integration: Moving Forward with Self-Trust and Emotional Regulation
Notice what shifts inside as you process the experience in a meaningful, forward-moving way. Maybe you feel more grounded in your body, more confident, or less emotionally hijacked.
These shifts matter. They are signs of emotional regulation, nervous-system healing, and empowerment-focused therapy in action.
A Closing Wish from a Western North Carolina Trauma Therapist
I wish you:
Abundance enough to pause
Self-compassion for curiosity
And the quiet confidence that comes from hearing — and nurturing — your own answers
Whether you’re navigating ADHD-related trauma, burnout and overwhelm, or the long echoes of childhood trauma in adulthood, healing is possible — especially when approached with creativity, somatic awareness, and care.
With warmth,
Dana
Trauma-informed, neurodivergent-affirming therapist offering EMDR, IFS, and body-based therapy in Clyde, NC — serving Sylva, Jackson County, and Western North Carolina.