When the Outside World Gets Loud: Creating an Inner Space to Pause, Listen, and Choose

Now that the days are officially getting shorter, the tangible challenges are here to stay, and the extracurricular activities—while fun—continue to be both energizing and draining, do you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by it all? Is your energy tending to fade more quickly than it did a few months ago?

If so, you are not alone.

Fall can bring a particular kind of emotional upheaval. There are things that need to be done, people who need things from us, and an ever-growing list of responsibilities to hold in our minds. For women with ADHD, that growing mental and emotional load can sometimes add another layer to an already familiar experience of overwhelm.

Sometimes we simply don’t have the luxury of not doing the things that need to be done.

But perhaps we can find small pockets of pause within it all.

Maybe there are five or ten minutes while using the restroom, sitting in the car, or waiting for the kids to finish an extracurricular activity. These small pockets can become opportunities to find a little stillness and practice intentional reflection, close your eyes, and allow yourself some questions.

Rather than trying to figure everything out, what if you simply got curious and listened for the answers that come?

What if, even in the middle of a busy season, you could create a small internal space where you could rest from the outside noise long enough to hear yourself?

Let's explore what that space might look and feel like.

Creating Your Inner Boundary

If there was an ideal boundary between you and a somewhat threatening environment, what would that boundary be made out of? Thick as cement? Thin as lace? Or somewhere in between?

How far away from your physical body would it be? How high would it go? Would there be a top?

What would you want on the inside of this boundary to offset the energy you want to protect yourself from?

Sometimes we have to start with the fear first and ask: What would you want to experience instead of the fear?

For example, the fear of criticism might be telling you that you want more validation in your life.

Once the positively stated answer comes, think of a symbol that represents that answer and place it on the inside of the boundary where you think it fits best. Decorate and accessorize to your heart’s content, considering textures, scents, colors, temperature, and sounds.

Once the inside feels complete, what’s it like to notice the inside of the boundary? What do you notice as you take it all in?

Maybe it’s a more easeful breath, a relaxed posture, or a sense of lightness in your shoulders or head.

Who made the difference?

What’s that like to own?

Soak it in.

Now, regarding what exists beyond the boundary: What color, shape, texture, or temperature would represent the stress or energy you want to protect yourself from?

Imagine the symbol of those answers existing on the outside of the boundary.

What would you love to happen when that stress meets the outside of your boundary?

What symbol represents the answer? What about sounds, movement, and/or phrases that represent that interaction?

What do you notice on the inside as a result of that plan?

Sometimes it’s a straightening of the spine, a surge of empowerment, or a hit of dopamine assuring you of your internal choice.

Who made the shift?

What’s that like to own?

Soak it in.

Making Room for What You Haven’t Decided Yet

Now, on the edge of this boundary, imagine there is a little mailbox or spot for things you haven’t quite made up your mind about but that others have presented to you as options.

What would it look like? What symbol could represent it?

Think of this as your grain-of-salt space—your physical permission to save ideas, options, and “shoulds” for intentional thought and speculation rather than signing up for them immediately.

For someone experiencing ADHD overwhelm, this pause can create room between an outside request and an immediate response. You don't have to decide everything the moment it is placed in front of you.

What do you notice as a result?

Sometimes it’s the freedom and peace of extra internal space.

Space for rest.

Space for choosing your own pace.

Space for honest discernment according to what you honestly have to give, what is honestly going to feed you, and how much rest you need before attending to such questions.

Who made the change?

What’s that like to own?

Soak it in.

A Place to Return to

This boundary we made is your safe and calm space on the inside of your core self, where no one else can decide for you and where you can return whenever you need to experience rest from outside expectations and the pressure to mask who you are, from wondering what others will say, or from any other distractions.

For women with ADHD who are accustomed to carrying a great deal of mental and emotional load, this kind of internal space can become a place to practice slowing down long enough to notice what you actually think, feel, need, and have the capacity to give.

It is somewhere you are free to practice hearing your own thoughts and feelings, getting curious about their meaning, and getting curious about the next best steps for you and you alone.

What’s that like to notice?

Who made the shift?

What’s that like to own?

Soak it in.

This is a place you can imagine before, during, and after expectedly tough experiences—for peace, internal grounding, and regrouping.

A place to abide for much-needed rest from external input.

And perhaps, when the outside world gets loud again, you can remember that this space is still here.

You can return.

You can pause.

You can listen.

And you can give yourself permission to decide what comes next.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why can fall feel especially overwhelming when you have ADHD?

Fall can bring changes in routines, increasing responsibilities, extracurricular activities, and a growing mental load. For women with ADHD, these demands can sometimes add to existing experiences of overwhelm, difficulty prioritizing, and feeling pulled in multiple directions.

Can boundaries help with ADHD overwhelm?

Boundaries can create space between what is happening around you and how you choose to respond. An internal boundary does not have to mean shutting people or experiences out. It can provide a place to pause, notice what you are feeling and needing, and decide what you have the capacity to take on.

How can I create space when I don't have time for a long break?

Look for small pockets of stillness already built into your day—a few minutes in the car, while waiting for an appointment or activity, or even during a quiet moment in the bathroom. The goal isn't necessarily to create a long period of uninterrupted rest. Even a few moments of intentional pause can give you an opportunity to reconnect with yourself.

How can I give myself permission to pause before deciding?

Try imagining a mental or physical “mailbox” where you can place requests, ideas, invitations, and “shoulds” that you aren't ready to decide about yet. You don't have to immediately accept or reject everything that comes your way. Giving yourself permission to consider something later can create room for more intentional discernment.

If the outside world has been loud for a while—and you're ready for a place to slow down, listen, and make sense of what you're noticing—therapy can offer space to do that.herapy can offer space to do that.